AUTOMATED FEACES!

Many of you don't really know that I'm a shy person. Forget about my sarcastic nature and bad mouth when I'm with family and friends, that's just me in my comfort zone anyway.

Truth is when I'm in a new environment I usually do more observation than communication. To be more specific, I don't like using the restroom when I'm away from home. As a matter of fact, my system has adjusted to this part of me cos I don't usually feel pressed when I'm outdoor.

So I got this new job and its in a very cool environment. After I've observed for some weeks I became very comfortable and decided to use the restroom the day my boss overfed us since it was the company's anniversary.


First of all, I didn't even know it was the gents I entered, I think my village people swapped the signpost when they saw me heading there. God pass them.

Immediately I entered, the toilet was so welcoming and homely. Chai, honestly speaking I felt at home. I balanced with confidence and did the needful. Biggest mistake of my life.

I actually just wanted to ease myself and relieve my bladder but then a voice told me that I should pupu! And I jonced myself and offloaded the bullshit.

If you see what I released! Even me I was shocked at my excrete. Till now I don't believe that I'm the one that dropped that parcel.

After doing the do, time to flush, that was when I realized that mbieri pepu have located my office!

I flushed 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...times but there was this particular lump that refused to follow his brothers.
Hewuuu!

If na you, wetin you go do?

Already I'd taken so much time in the restroom so I just found my way out.

Biko. I cannor coman kee myself bcos of ordinary pupu! The cleaners wee now be suspecting all those guys in the office.

Abeg lemme coman be going my chest is paining me.



Photo credit: maclean.com.my

Onyinye Udeh

Comments

  1. Lol, partner in the act.
    Could be fun to unburden in the most awkward places sometimes though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolz. We have no option than to answer the call of nature biko.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. You wee nor die of lafta in Jesus name. Thank you for stopping by dear Oluwakemi.

      Delete
  3. LMAO So you left the scene of the crime without removing the evidence! LOL

    ReplyDelete

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