While growing up, my mum had this saying, "don't talk about any situation you haven't experienced."

She always believed that condemning or judging people's actions, thoughts or ideologies without knowing what they have been through is very wrong and unacceptable especially when you haven't worn their shoe and walked the same mile with them.

As I grew older I began to understand what she meant.

I met this wonderful lady who always felt her life was better than others and she had a funny way of devaluing people.

I heard her make a comment about someone we knew had recently adopted twins after waiting for over 20 years since the birth of her only child.

This wonderful lady laughed and said, "there's nothing like having your own child" in addition to some funny remarks on how she and her husband can never settle for adoption.

This didn't go down well with me and I gave her a piece of my mind about her attitude.

She claimed it was her right to have an opinion and yes she was correct though I totally disagreed with the idea of mocking others.

A few years down the line and I was informed that the same "wonderful" lady had finally adopted a baby after almost six years of marriage without conception.

A big lesson for all is that words are very powerful.

Let's learn to sympathize with people and encourage them when they're going through tough situations.

If you have nothing nice to say then say nothing!

© Onyinye Udeh


  1. Sympathy and Empathy, very key. I'm sure she has learnt her lessons. Life!!!


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