VEGETABLE OR FISH?

Every Lagosian prays not to meet traffic as they head out of home. 100% true! This is because Lagos traffic can be a nightmare if you ever get stuck in it.

You don't want to know how it feels. I'm sure every Lagosian can relate wella.

So you can imagine how elated I was yesterday when I realized that my journey to the office was against traffic.

The joy of the Lord filled my soul then suddenly...

The first bus I boarded saw me sitting beside a trader who was carrying her goods. It was a very large bag of different types of vegetables.

It was very obvious that the load was too much for her because it extended to the next seat which I was to occupy.

We all pleaded with the woman to pay for an extra seat she but she objected and insisted that she could carry the load on her lap.

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I was in a hurry to get to work and didn't have time to wait for another bus so I grudgingly sat next to the trader with half of the vegetable on my lap and partially resting on my arm.

What a wonderful ride it was indeed. I couldn't wait to alight from the bus.

The sigh of relief I heaved when I got to the bus stop could be heard in the 36 states of Nigeria.

I was still recovering from the previous experience when I boarded the next bus and a fishmonger sat next to me!

Eli! Eli! Lama Sabachthani!

My God! My God! Why has thou forsaken me?

Who did I offend? What did I do to deserve this?

Have my village people finally caught up with me?

It was not funny at all. I don't pray for you to experience this.

After dressing to kill then you get to the office smelling of fish! How would you explain to your colleagues that you don't sell fish?

Anyway, I have decided to start carrying my perfume and body spray to the office.

I cannot let these traders kill my shine biko.

Today I was about to board a bus when I met another fishmonger sitting happily with her goods and waiting for an available reputation to tarnish!

Hahaha! You have failed woefully! My village people will not see me.

I'll rather arrive late at work than get there early and smelling. Mba!

Once bitten, twice shy!

Thank you. Don't mention.





Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com

© Onyinye Udeh



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