In response to the questions I have been receiving from friends, families, and fans in the past week, this is the continuation of my discussion with them.

Wondering why most of the questions revolve around relationship and sex? Well, that just happens to be the aspect of their lives that has so much interest and activity at the moment I guess.

Anyway read to get more understanding and I hope this helps you or someone close to you.

Q: Can a Christian use sex toys?
A: I'm sorry I may have to respond to this question with another question. What is the purpose of sex toys? Sexual gratification I guess or to enhance your sexual pleasures right? Fine.

In my opinion, sexual gratification can be achieved without them. Your spouse should be able to give you the best and most pleasurable sexual experience you can ever desire. If you don't believe me ask my spouse. Just kidding!

With practice and understanding of each other's body and sexual needs, you do not need a sex toy. Is there any biblical backing to my response? No. But I also have not read where the Bible mentions the use of sex toys either.
In conclusion, I don't think a Christian should use sex toys.

Q: I have a prospect that I want to do business with but she wants more from me, what do I do?
A: Hmm. When you say more it obviously sounds like she wants to have an intimate relationship with you. Well, you are an adult and old enough to make decisions by yourself but first I think you should be specific about what relationship you want with her in the first place. Is it strictly a business relationship or you also want more? Please define it.

Do not in any way lead her on if you know that you are not ready to be committed to her. Remember this quote, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!" It's as simple as that. The decision lies with you, let nobody force you do otherwise.

Q: How do you know he's the one?
A: Well, there is no clear cut rule as to how to know the man you're seeing is the right person for you. First I think you should have a chat with yourself. What exactly do you want in a man? Many have made mistakes by going for someone they "thought" was the so-called Mr. Right.

If you are already seeing someone, look out for the qualities you expect of your future spouse, does he posses them? Sincerely he may not be 100% it but does he meet up to expectation to a reasonable extent? Please on no account should you settle for less and don't let anyone pressure you into taking any rash decision that you may regret later. Do not be in a hurry to say Yes or No. If you need some time, Darling please do take your time.

Q: Was your hubby your first?
A: Okay, I have to laugh out loud at this one. Very personal but I will give you my response in the next episode of our Q&A.

Q: We like each other but she has kids from her previous marriage, can we see each other?
A: Nice. Please do not mistake likeness for love. You can like a person and not want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. Marriage is more serious than likeness. Speaking about kids, what do you know about their dad? Is he late or separated from the lady in question? Please do your findings very well before you start any relationship with her.

Having said all this, I hope I have been able to give you helpful responses to these issues. Please always remember that you must be intentional about the decisions you make in life because they can either make or mar you.

Please feel free to drop your comments too. Also, look out for the part 3 of this series.

Yes, I am still taking questions about any issue bothering you, be it career, marriage, job, relationship, raising kids, business and sex.

If you haven't subscribed to my blog kindly go to the home page and do so, tell someone to tell someone to do same.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Onyinye Udeh


  1. In my opinion, married Christians can use sex toys with their partners. So long it is use as a boost of their sexual life and not a replacement of any of the partner, why not?

    However, there is the place of knowing your limit. If you're not sure you can handle well enough not to turn into addiction (masturbation), please DON'T GET STARTED.

    1. Thank you for your response Bolaji.
      The challenge is drawing the line between using sex toys to boost your sex life and getting addicted to it.
      It could also enhance and encourage masturbation.
      This is why I believe married people do not need sex toys to get sexual satisfaction.


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