LET'S TAK ABOUT SEX: They lied to us (2)
Hey! Hey!! Hey!!!
Sex! Sex!! Sex!!!
Sex! Sex!! Sex!!!
An unusual greeting right? Hahaha. Yeah, that's because I feel unusual today. We are on another sex talk series and this one is already making me feel shbgtuiwghneuwjue. Don't ask me what it means because I don't even know.
Our last discussion was hot!Shout out to all those who commented, sent their questions, shared our blog link and got their friends to join our ride. I am in awe at the level of trust and confidence you have shown. And I was amazed at the feedback I received, y'all are the real MVPs.
As a result of that, I am highly pumped up, as in charged up, like 100% battery full, for today's post.
I will begin with another story, by now you should know why they call me The Tory Teller, I am convinced you enjoy my stories too.
Some years ago, I returned home from a visit with my 5 year old daughter, (for those who don't know I have a have an over-expressive chap, read about one of my numerous conversations with her here) she came to me and said, "Mummy, what is ejaculation?"
Ah! Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabacthani? (My God, My God why has thou forsaken me?)
This was actually what I screamed in my heart because sincerely I could not comprehend where she had heard such word from. As a mother to a digital native, I wore my thinking cap immediately and decided to get to the root of this matter. I know you are as surprised as I am about this question.
I must have been an adult the first time I said that word "ejaculation" and I am very sure I didn't say out loud, it must have been a whisper because with the orientation I had while growing up, it was one of the words that should never be said.
Well, long story short, my daughter saw the word on a sticker in one of the buses we boarded, and as a smart kid, she crammed it and decided to ask me about it. Now I have thought on several occasions, what if I was not a mother she confided in and she had asked a pedophile male about such? What do you think would have happened? Well, your guess is as good as mine.
Another moment of truth here, in my time, I would never have been able to ask anyone about such, even if I did, I know I would have immediately been hushed and forced to swallow that word or return it to wherever it came from.
"How dare you say such sinful word?" It was an abomination in those days. Isn't it ironic that men ejaculated those days but nobody was allowed to talk about it. Funny right? That is why many inquisitive children ran into trouble as a result of their curiousity. Too bad.
That is the mainly reason I started this series. I think we should be able to talk about sex without fear or shame. There are a lot of myths about it that have given people the wrong impression and also swayed young people in the wrong direction.
So today, I am here to shake, scatter and destroy some tables that were set up by the powers that be. I hope you enjoy this ride with me.
Like I stated in my last sex talk series, (you can read it up here) I'm going to be refuting some of these myths.
1. Sex is a sacred word and should not be discussed.
On a more serious note, the world has evolved past that stage. We have gotten to a point where we need to normalize the talk about sex especially when it comes to educating the next generation. With the current trend, the bottom line is that if we do not give them accurate information, they are bound to get it from somewhere else.
Almost every young one has direct or indirect access to internet with or without their parents' consent. And you know what that means. There is no secret again. The sooner we start passing the right information to them, the better for us all. Once they are properly equipped they will not be easily swayed by the wrong message.
You will be surprised to know that some mothers still teach their children pipi for penis and bom-bom for vagina, even when the children are above 4 years. That is absolutely wrong! I have even heard of 'back bom-bom and front bom-bom'. Oh mehn! In this era? God help us to have sense and use it accordingly in Jesus' name. Amen!
P.S If you need help with sex education for kids, please contact me, I am very much available.
2.Virginity is the pride of a woman. Females must keep their virginity.
Hello, are you kidding me? Why must it be only females that should keep themselves? Chastity should be for both male and female please. When you (male or female) decide to keep your body and abstain from sex, please bear in mind that you are doing it because it is the right thing and not because somebody said something.
In my opinion, this saying may have been cooked up by a man. Yes, I said so. And sadly this has given them license to live promiscuously and expect women to keep themselves. They feel they are the only ones that can have sex before marriage but they want to marry a virgin. Nice! Uncle, clap for yourself!
Our male folks, let me drag y'all small today. You have sat on the fence for too long on this sex issue. Who even postulated the theory that sex education must be handled by the females? I think that person was just shying away from responsibilities.
I cannot forget the expression on my hubby's face the day I told him that his 11 year old daughter had started catching the attention of some guys. Hahahaha. That one is story for another day. Anyway, I have dragged him into the sex education class with my daughter. After all, we both brought her to this world, so we should train her together.
Dear Male folks, you can do better! Daddies, Uncles, Brothers, Cousins, all males, please help us protect our young ones and lead them on the right path. It is not wrong if you also help educate the boys too while the females handle the girls. Teach them by being good examples too, remember they are watching keenly.
3. The Man must initiate sex.
True or False? I used to think it was true o, but now I know better. I don't dull myself anymore biko. I will collect it when I need it as long as I get my partner in the right mood, after all, we will both enjoy it. Please ladies, stop waiting for Oga to make the first move. What if you approach him? Will you die? Or will your pant tear? No.
Gone are the days of boring sex life please. I mean the 'daddy and mummy' style. Missionary is not the only way to Jerusalem. Spice it up and give him plenty reasons to look forward to being with you. There are a million and one things you can do to improve your sex life with your spouse. Let me know if you need hints on that.
Okay, I noticed the table is shaking too much. So let me go for a break before it breaks, I will be back with refreshment. Just stay tuned, we are just starting. Do well to let me know if you have learnt something from today's post.
Remember The Tory Teller loves you and is rooting for you! Don't forget to tell someone to subscribe to our blog and enjoy this ride with us.
Photo credit: VectorStock.com
© Onyinye Udeh