CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: What Mama did to me!

December 26, 2020

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: What Mama did to me!

Hey People!

It's the 26th of December, popularly called boxing day. Most of us don't really take this day seriously since just count it as part of the Holidays and enjoy as much rest as we can, right?

But today's episode of Christmas Memories may jug your memory to remember someone that we would really want to take out this boxing day with. Lolz! Just kidding though.

I promise you will be laughing after reading this. Enjoy!

Bolaji Gelax's Blast from the past gave me some serious flashbacks and I knew I had to share.

Ok, let me give you a little background. So my parents are SU (Scripture Union) and my mum practices this to the latter and as a result, Christmas while growing up was usually on a low key as per all the dressing paparazzi. As we grew older, we began to pester my mum to start buying new clothes, making hair, and other things that come with the season, as we had seen from others.

On one particular Christmas, my sister and I formed a team and tabled our reasons before my mum why we should at least be allowed to perm our hair and make jerry curls thereafter. After much deliberation, she agreed and we immediately swung into action. I applied the hair relaxer (it used to be in the form of bar soap in those days) on my sister's hair first, then she did mine. While in the process, my little brother came around and asked we did his too (wrong, wronger, wrongest move).

Pandemonium broke when in the process, the relaxer somehow got into his eyes, he immediately reached for the bucket of water and poured it on his head.

But guess what? It was hot water!

Hehehe! Come and see imported wahala.

Of course, the shouting and crying attracted Mummy dearest who helped to calm the situation. Chai! Poor boy.

Thank God he didn't have any scare. Surprisingly, Mummy dearest didn't say or do anything to us, not even a word to my dad.

"It is Christmas and she knows it wasn't intentional, she will understand jor " That’s what we thought.

The following morning she sent me to buy bread for breakfast. On my way, I could feel an unusual breeze blowing my medulla oblongata "it might be the harmattan breeze in this village" I said to myself. I got to the vendor and she immediately shouted. "Who did this to you?"

In my proud hairstylist of the year moment, I adjusted my blouse, about to flip my hair to tell her "Gucci hair styled by me". As soon as my hands reached for the hair on my head, I suddenly stopped.

"This is not my head". "Ha, Aunty where is my head"? I flung myself on the ground and began to wail. "I permed my hair o, who cut my hair o"

It wasn't a small show. People gathered asking what has happened. Some even suggested a witch must have visited me at night and made away with all my hair leaving me with patches on my head.

Chai! It wasn't funny.

The vendor had to follow me home. On getting home, from the gate I could hear a familiar voice also wailing "my hair o, my hair o!"

Ha! That is my sister's voice. "Did the witch visit her too?"

We got in only to find mummy dearest going about her day like nothing happened.

Turns out Mummy dearest cut our hair at night while we were deeply asleep. My chest!

When the vendor asked why she said the incident with my brother just further proved that perming hair is not biblical because we almost scarred her precious son in the process.

Hmmm! That was how two upcoming slay queens ended up with bolobolo (skin) for Christmas because that's was the only remedy for the patches. And she said it was a deliberate act.

African mothers! After God fear them.

This is my most memorable Christmas experience ever because the laughter it brings to me each time I remember always leaves me laughing so hard.

Enjoy your Christmas holiday guys.

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Written by Rachel Jesuseme aka SemeGold. An educationist, child care specialist, and personal/lifestyle blogger. She enjoys doing life with people and believes in the possibility of a turn around no matter how wrong a life has traveled. She is passionate about sharing life experiences and helping people heal through them. You can visit her blog here

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Oya o, people of God, do you have a grudge against your African parent? I'm sure you do. Table it in the comment section let's comfort ourselves. Happy Boxing Day!