CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: What Mama did to me!
Hey People!
It's the 26th of December, popularly called boxing day. Most of us don't really take this day seriously since just count it as part of the Holidays and enjoy as much rest as we can, right?
But today's episode of Christmas Memories may jug your memory to remember someone that we would really want to take out this boxing day with. Lolz! Just kidding though.
I promise you will be laughing after reading this. Enjoy!
Bolaji Gelax's Blast from the past gave me some serious flashbacks and I knew I had to share.
Ok, let me give you a little background. So my parents are
SU (Scripture Union) and my mum practices this to the latter
and as a result, Christmas while growing up was usually on a low key as per all
the dressing paparazzi. As we grew older, we began to pester my mum to start
buying new clothes, making hair, and other things that come with the season, as
we had seen from others.
On one particular Christmas, my sister and I formed a team
and tabled our reasons before my mum why we should at least be allowed to perm
our hair and make jerry curls thereafter. After much deliberation, she agreed
and we immediately swung into action. I applied the hair relaxer (it used to be
in the form of bar soap in those days) on my sister's hair first, then she did
mine. While in the process, my little brother came around and asked we did his
too (wrong, wronger, wrongest move).
Pandemonium broke when in the process, the relaxer somehow
got into his eyes, he immediately reached for the bucket of water and poured it
on his head.
But guess what? It was hot water!
Hehehe! Come and see imported wahala.
Of course, the shouting and crying attracted Mummy dearest
who helped to calm the situation. Chai! Poor boy.
Thank God he didn't have any scare. Surprisingly, Mummy
dearest didn't say or do anything to us, not even a word to my dad.
"It is Christmas and she knows it wasn't intentional,
she will understand jor " That’s what we thought.
The following morning she sent me to buy bread for
breakfast. On my way, I could feel an unusual breeze blowing my medulla
oblongata "it might be the harmattan breeze in this village" I said
to myself. I got to the vendor and she immediately shouted. "Who did this
to you?"
In my proud
hairstylist of the year moment, I adjusted my blouse, about to flip my hair to
tell her "Gucci hair styled by me". As soon as my hands reached for the
hair on my head, I suddenly stopped.
"This is not my head". "Ha, Aunty where is my
head"? I flung myself on the ground and began to wail. "I permed my
hair o, who cut my hair o"
It wasn't a small show. People gathered asking what has
happened. Some even suggested a witch must have visited me at night and made
away with all my hair leaving me with patches on my head.
Chai! It wasn't funny.
The vendor had to follow me home. On getting home, from the
gate I could hear a familiar voice also wailing "my hair o, my hair o!"
Ha! That is my sister's voice. "Did the witch visit her
too?"
We got in only to find mummy dearest going about her day
like nothing happened.
Turns out Mummy dearest cut our hair at night while we were
deeply asleep. My chest!
When the vendor asked why she said the incident with my brother just further proved that perming hair is not biblical because we almost scarred her precious son in the process.
Hmmm! That was how two upcoming slay queens ended up with
bolobolo (skin) for Christmas because that's was the only remedy for the
patches. And she said it was a deliberate act.
African mothers! After God fear them.
This is my most memorable Christmas experience ever because
the laughter it brings to me each time I remember always leaves me laughing so
hard.
Enjoy your Christmas holiday guys.
***
Written by Rachel Jesuseme aka SemeGold. An educationist,
child care specialist, and personal/lifestyle blogger. She enjoys doing life with people and believes
in the possibility of a turn around no matter how wrong a life has traveled. She
is passionate about sharing life experiences and helping people heal through
them. You can visit her blog here
***
Oya o, people of God, do you have a grudge against your African parent? I'm sure you do. Table it in the comment section let's comfort ourselves. Happy Boxing Day!
Don't forget to click the subscribe button at the top, that's the Christmas gift you can give me.
Tory Teller loves you plenty!
Photo credit: World Scouting, Askideas.com, Pinterest.
Mama I made it! My chest is doing me zfgypkljhgty with joy.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the opportunity ToryTeller
Yaaaaay!
DeleteThank dear Seme Gold.
So nice of you to share this with us!
The way this post made me laugh ehn π€£π€£π€£
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears, guys! Chai, you mum got no chills at all o π.
Thanks for sharing, Seme Gold, love eeet!
Hey, blog sister, Happy Boxing Day! ♥️✨
Hey boo!
DeleteI sight you!π
Lol, the real African motherπ
DeleteConfirmed!
DeleteLolz.
How did you both sleep through it? Unbelievable. ������
ReplyDeleteMy dear I wonder too.
DeleteI'm not sure any of them would have been able to sleep that night.
Thanks for stopping by.
Ah! Sleeping like a log of wood used to be my only way of life and I think mimsci's jazz just caught my sister that night π
DeleteAre you kidding me?
DeleteYou're too much o.
I would have remained restless and sleepless till morning.