CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: What we couldn't tell our parents!

Merry Christmas Tory Lovers once again!

Okay, here's another hilarious Christmas tale for your reading pleasure.

No, don't thank me, is awa work.

Enjoy!

HILARIOUS CHRISTMAS MEMORIES!

At the mention of Christmas holidays, butterflies flutter in my kidney because it means a break from school. So, I loved the fact that I will be away from school and have time to play.

My earliest memories of Christmas was years back in my early teens (no thanks to my selective amnesia). Jump on the ride with me.

It starts with the clothes…

Days before Christmas, my mom would go to the market without taking me along to buy Christmas clothes that I never liked and shoes that I felt were for children, not my teenage self.

When she returns from the market, she would spread them on the bed and ask me to come and admire the international oversized gown she bought for me.

One look at the canopy gown and I already know that e be things. But for the fear of being called an ungrateful child, I would fawn over the dress and say “Mummy, thank you, God will provide for you.”

Mummy, you should have taken me to the market with you! I hated those dresses!!

With those ' beautiful dresses and shoes’, I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas days because I dreaded wearing them. And before the day is over, I would ease myself off the dress and bury it in my wardrobe. Adios!

Christmas Day!

Every Christmas day at my house starts with a lengthy morning devotion led by my parents. My dad would thank God for all the months in the year, our relatives, every journey we have embarked on for the year, our school results (I was the star girl in my primary school, don’t even try me), and a long list of things that I could have summarized in just three minutes.

My Daddy the prayer champion! He never jokes with prayer till date.

While the prayers are going on, all I would be thinking of are the meat I would slim-fit from the pot, the Mirinda in the fridge, and the movies that were waiting to be watched, mostly power rangers and Jackie Chan movies.

After thanksgiving prayers, my dad would start praying for every child. I am not talking about 3-minute prayers; I am referring to the type of blessings that Isaac gave Jacob in the bible – very voluminous something. 

The prayers would eventually end to the glory of God and we would disperse to carry out our assigned duties.

Immediately, Dad would play Christmas songs by the legendary Boney M. vocal group to keep us in the festive mood while we worked. I loved assisting my mum to cook then because there were meat palliatives to be looted while singing along to the album.

‘Daddy Cool’ and ‘Ma Baker’ were my favorite. Till date, I still love those songs.

Then the food…

Most Christmas saw my mum preparing rice and stew. On other occasions, we had ‘swallow’, and I totally loved the unconventional meals as opposed to the customary ‘Jollof rice’ we were expected to cook on Christmas day.

Our neighbours also extend gestures of love by flooding our doorsteps with assorted kinds of meals – Jollof rice, pounded yam, and fried rice, garnished with chunks of meat. Most times, these meals will last us on Christmas day and the next.  We would also extend the gesture with drinks and meat.

Two days after Christmas, the thrill and celebratory mood is over, and we would be looking forward to the New Year already. Just like that!

 The compulsory visits…

The part of Christmas I never liked was my parents forcing me to visit aunties/uncles, and other family friends I had no intention of visiting.

Daddy, I just want to stay home and watch power rangers, not visit anyone!

But I dare not voice out my opinions, so as an obedient child; I would go with my younger brothers to visit those we had to. I had to comport myself, kneel in greeting, and force smiles to show I was happy.

I was not happy! My Daddy forced me to visit you people!

I enjoyed the meals though, but they don’t cover up the stress of walking long distances because I wanted to keep in touch with friends and family.

Now that I am an adult, I spend my Christmas indoors, eating and binge-watching old but evergreen movies. If I am invited anywhere, I have to consider the cost of transportation, the stress of transportation, the traffic involved in transportation, the toll of transportation in Lagos, and other transportation factors, before I decide to go or not.

Suffice to say, I have always been an ‘indoor person’ right from childhood.

Thank God for mobile phones and the internet today. A Whatsapp message and a few minutes call will do the trick.

Christmas will always be special for me, irrespective of how I spend it. As I recline on the bed or couch, enjoying the festive moment, I am reminded of the reason for the season, the love of my entire life, Bros J! Thank you for what you did and all you still do for us!

Merry Christmas!

                    ***

Written by my dear Friend Ayobami Fasusi a Nigerian Content Creator and writer. A comic actress and storyteller with a witty touch.

I'm sure you now know why she's my friend.

Feel free to share your own experience of what you couldn't tell your parents as a child in the comment section. Read up previous episodes of Christmas Memories here, here, and here.

Hey, you know I love you right?

(Photo credit: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint, Immaculate Bites, and Wallpaperflare.)