POST VALENTINE: WHAT'S YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

“Babe,

Do you know that you are a gift to me, to us, me and the kids? I have come to really appreciate the meaning of your name, Onyinye.

I promise never to take you for granted in any way. You always amaze me with how you are able to run this home and take care of me and the kids irrespective of all our wahala. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it but I just want you to know that I appreciate you. I don’t even know how I would cope if you were not here.  I may have a funny way of showing it but please don’t stop being you. You are one of the strongest women I know. Always remember that I love you and you are the best.”

                                                            ***

Okay, I know that reading that piece has already started making you feel all mushy and shptwlkhyrqprt but calm down before you raise your blood pressure. First things first, if you are married please go straight to the back, if you are engaged or in a relationship, come to the front, single and ready to mingle oya come to the high table, I want you to hear me very well. Thank you.

So the first paragraph were the words spoken into my ears by the Anambra man that married me, yes, my husbandman, Papa Presh and Sam. No, don’t feel intimidated biko, this post is not aimed at spraying Atarodo or Sombo or Tatashe. Not at all. I just wanted to update y’all about how my Valentine went.

I know it was a week ago but by now I expect y’all to know that I don’t work with the clock of the world. There is an Igbo adage that says, Whenever a person wakes up is his/her morning. So leave it like that for me.

If I tell you, ‘Happy Valentine’ in December, please accept it with thanksgiving. The most important thing is that it is coming from a place of love and from a heart that cares about you, Shikena! Love should not have a timeline, you can show love whenever. Please read my last post My Love For You, if you missed it.

Let me state clearly anyway that my husbandman is not a preacher of love, sometimes I wonder how this guy got me sef. I love Romance and all the lovey-dovey things that go with it so I don’t know how I ended up with this local man. It’s just like applying for Mass Communication in the University and ending up with Igbo Linguistics. Please this is not my handwriting, don’t come for me. I am just joking, before somebody will go and screen grab and send to my Oga at the top. Don’t push me out of my marriage, I beg you. I will use my 2 legs to walk out when I am tired, biko. Thank you.

Back to what I was saying, these words were romantic to my ears, I felt like I was flying without wings, in the words of Westlife. I was already feeling myself when he said these words that eve of Valentine and my body was already doing me dtywqhling but we didn’t do anything afterward. We just placed our hands on our neighbour's shoulder and slept. I won’t lie to you, there was no communion that night. Take it or leave it.

Why are you looking at me like that? Is everything about sex? Hear me and hear me well, Valentine is not about Sex. Periodt! Yes, it is the season of love but love is not determined by sex.

In my last post, I mentioned that Love is an action word. You cannot truly love someone without doing something for that person, love is not selfish. I know that Love can be complex sometimes but I need you to understand one thing, it is more than the emotions and feelings you have towards the opposite sex. Words that are synonymous with love are affection, respect, feeling of attachment, or connection.

Here are 7 types of love you should know about:

1.       Philautia: Love of self

2.      Storge: Love for a role model or a child

3.      Ludus: Playful love

4.      Philia: Affectionate or brotherly love

5.      Pragma: Lasting love

6.      Agape: Unconditional/Selfless love.

7.      Eros: Sexual love

More often than not, many erroneously misplace these various types of love and the result is always catastrophic. Take for instance, when a father starts expressing Eros to his daughter instead of Storge, I can't even imagine what the end product will be.

The best way to understand Love is to thoroughly study the book of 1^st Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible. From my knowledge of this scripture, it covers different types of love. We ain’t perfect but hey, we can try.

I am yet to meet any person who doesn’t love to be loved, cared for or appreciate and although we all have our preferences when it comes to love, there are 5 love languages that are universal to all. These 5 love languages are:

1.       Words of affirmation:

2.      Acts of service

3.      Receiving gifts

4.      Physical touch

5.      Quality time.

Y’all will start wondering when did Tory Teller become a preacher of love? News Flash, I have a new title; Senior Advocate of Everything Positive. I gave myself the title and I am proud of it.

I don’t want to spill everything in this particular post so I am going to go on a break now but I’ll be back for more insight on love language.

Do me a favour, if you haven’t subscribed to this blog, kindly click the subscribe button at the top so that you don’t miss out of any of the interesting posts that will be coming soon.

What’s your thought about love and what is your love language? As usual, see you in the comment section.

Remember, The Tory Teller loves you and I am rooting for you!

#staysafe

#stayhealthy

#staypositive

#spreadlove

 

 

©Onyinye Udeh