MY HUBBY IS WEIRD!
Here's something to spice up your weekend!
So my Anambra man and I are strolling out to get something at the end of my street then he remembers that he didn’t take his ATM card and rushes back home to pick it. I stopped in front of one of the buildings on my street to wait for him when two men walk past me and I noticed one of them had his eyes on me as they walked.
For someone like me that doesn’t know how to hold her peace, I decided to confront him. The moment he turned back to take one last glance my eyes met his then I queried him, “Why are you staring at me? Do you know me from somewhere?”
Uncle immediately smiled and said, “I'm sorry I was staring. You’re very beautiful.”
I blushed and replied, “Oh! Thank you.”
Maybe my response was encouraging to him and he walked back towards me and we got talking.
Uncle: My name is T.J. So what’s yours?
Me: Bekee (That’s a nickname attached to most people that bear my name. Ask your Igbo friend)
Uncle: Nice name. Do you stay around here?
Me: Yes, I do.
Uncle: Oh wow! I haven’t seen you around. You live on this street?
Uncle: I come around here very often. What’s your house number?
Me: Hmm. Why do you need it?
Uncle: Well, I could just stop by to say hi.
Uncle: Yeah. Or if you don’t mind, may I have your phone number? (Bringing out his phone from his pocket)
Me: (looking to see if my Anambra man is already heading my way) Ehm. No, I don’t mind but why do you want my number?
Uncle: At least I could just call once in a while to check on you as friends.
Me: Okay, I understand. (Noticing that my Oga at the top is now in sight) I can give you my number but that’s my husband coming towards us and I don’t think he will like that.
Uncle: Oh! No, I’m sure he won’t like it. Thank you for your time. (Puts his phone back in his pocket and walks away briskly.)
So I am there smiling sheepishly when my Anambra man walks up to me and asks if everything is alright to be sure that nobody is harassing his baby girl. After telling this man what transpired between me and Uncle T.J, he starts laughing and says, “I am not surprised na. You be confirmed babe so heads must always turn and there is nothing wrong with that. The guy dey try shoot him shot.”While I was still feeling myself as the most beautiful woman in the world, this Husbandman of mine turns to me and says, “But babe, you fuck up o. Why you no give the guy your number na?”
I used both hands to clean my ears to be sure that I heard well and I ask, “You say?” That’s how this man changed the discussion o. Saying that I should have given Uncle T.J my number let’s see how the friendship would go.
My people which kain man I marry so?
Anyway, tomorrow I will go and wait for Uncle T.J on the street since he said he comes around very often, let me give him my number as instructed by my Anambra man.
Please I want to sell this man, who is interested?
Does your partner encourage you to do such? What’s the weirdest thing your partner has asked you to do or you have done for your partner? Share yours in the comment section.
Anyway, that’s my weekend gist for today.
Don’t forget, I love you and I am rooting for you!
© Onyinye Udeh