CHILD BIRTH SERIES: What having a baby was like.

Hello, My Amazing Tribe!

First, let me say thank you for joining me on this awesome journey of relieving my childbirth experience especially for cheering me all along the way.

Undoubtedly, it has been a very insightful one for you I believe. The feedback from the last post was encouraging and I am glad that you have picked a thing or two from it.

Hey, it's the last day of my wonderful month, May. I trust that you enjoyed it as much as I did.

In today's episode of the childbirth series, a mother all the way from Uganda shares her own experience. Enjoy!

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Growing up, most of what I knew concerning child birth was that it was very painful and sometimes people die, also that some women were superstars in the labour ward and I always envisioned myself as a superstar.

After deciding I was having my baby I went to get signed up for prenatal care. In my mind, I thought I'd get all the information on childbirth and postpartum care from the ‘classes’. I don't know why I thought antenatal was like a school for pregnant women. That was not the case.

All I got were Blood Pressure checks, weight checks, and baby's heartbeat checks. I also got a tetanus shot and anti-malaria plus enough folic for everyday of being pregnant in addition to answers to my random questions like "why am I having so much discharge?" and that was it I think. I didn't really know what to expect or ask since it was my first child. I only asked questions based on what I felt. Thank God mine was smooth, I enjoyed my pregnancy except for the last trimester where I was like a vampire, no sleep at night because of heartburn and the baby would overturn at night.

So when you are pregnant, the whole world becomes an expert on what to do and not to do. Even those who have not given birth before will tell you what to do, some will even say you are pretending about how you feel. Let me take this opportunity to tell you that everyone's experience is unique, and so sometimes what works for one may not work for the other.

In Uganda were I am from, there is practice common with the Buganda. They have special herbs that are prepared for each trimester, it's called "mumbwa" (I hope I got the spelling right) it is some concoction mixed in clay, it's meant to make the birth process easy. The drink softens the bones and other things I am not familiar with since I'm from another part of the country. Pregnant women are also expected to be very active, flexing muscle with the belief that it will make it easy for them during labour.

I on the other hand was a lazy pregnant woman loyal to my folic and prayers, and I pushed with no tearing. I feel like our bodies react differently to pregnancies, some will be hardworking others will be downright lazy. (like me)

I decided early in my pregnancy it was wise to limit who I listen to. That list had my midwife and my mum alongside Google to explain what both said in detail.

My greatest fear of childbirth was getting torn apart and of course, the excruciating pain everyone had been talking about since before I was even born. I heard that you get stitched with no anesthesia and that thought scared the hell out of me. I don't know how true that is. So I asked Google "How can I avoid tearing?" he told me to try the Perineal massage it entails pressing down your vagina towards your anus (very strong words am shaking) anyway I did that with olive oil. I don't know if it did the trick but I came out intact.

Another thing I googled was how to deal with my anxiety, all we ever know about childbirth is pain and knowing myself I did not think I could handle it. I remember when I got the first contraction, I cried my eyes out because I wondered if it got worse than that, and  I started sweet talking my mum into allowing me to do a Caesarian Section with just one contraction. However there is a supernatural, strength that a woman  receives that helps overcome fear. Because I don't know how I got into ninja mode.

While online, I came across hypnobirthing, it aims at helping a woman deal with any fears and anxiety she may have around child birth, it involves various relaxation and self hypnosis  techniques to help relax the body before and during childbirth

On this technique, I chose the breathing exercises and I also envisioned how I wanted my Labour to be. The second worked. The breathing thing was thrown out the window, I was busy making noise, speaking in tongues (I've never prayed so hard in my life) and asking the gyn why he wanted to kill me.  The only sound I wanted was my own voice. Everyone else voice was an irritating sound that needed to be stopped. 

However what I envisioned my labour time to be happened as I had meditated it to be. So I asked my mum how long she spent in the Labour ward and she said 8 hours. So that is what I made my mind to believe. I remember at the eighth hour the gyn said I still had two more hours to go and I told him "that's not what I and God agreed" and so when he stepped out of the room. I told my baby it's time to come out. Long story short the baby listened and came out, there was a little commotion since no one expected it to happen so soon, but we here and alive.

After my experience I wish that such information is given during prenatal care visits. Because the gyn is usually the most trusted source of information for a pregnant woman. Those visits should touch issues on baby blues and postpartum depression. You wonder why they are cases of women killing their newborns, is because it's overwhelming and no one told them it would get that hard, some don't even know that depression is a disease. So many hormonal changes happen in a woman's body and most she doesn't even know about, I think it's only decent that women are taught about these things so they know when to seek help.

Written by

Tikia a mother who is single. Very passionate about Jesus.

I recently realized I could tell a story and haven't stopped since. I am on a roll. As I write I keep finding out things about me. I have hope and am on the path of self-discovery. Here's the link to my blog Tikia with Grace.

 

 

I hope you enjoyed the experience of my dear friend Tikia. As we step into the month of June, we will be sharing the experience of fathers on parenting, after all, it's the month we celebrate Fathers' Day. You can send me a message if you want to be a part of this, follow me on IG @ onyiluvsu, on Twitter Tory Teller and Onyinye Nwaozor Udeh on Facebook. You don't want to miss the Fatherhood series because it's going to be detailed and revealing. 

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Let me be the first to wish you a Joyous June, Happy New Month in advance.
Tory Teller loves you and is rooting for you.

 

 #staysafe

#staypositive

#stayhealthy

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© Onyinye Udeh