PARENTING: A Father's Perspective.
Hello My Favourite People in the Whole Wide World!
An unusual greeting right? Yeah, but you know that a lot of unusual things happen on Tory Teller's blog so expect anything. I hope the month of June has been good to you so far. Even if there have been challenges, I am hoping that somehow, you have been able to find a way around it.
Our focus for this month is parenting as previously stated last month. You can read my take on parenting here and in addition to that we are celebrating this year's Father's Day differently after all it's their month. We have a few father's on the hot seat and they will be sharing their experiences with us.
I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed talking with them!
Today, we have Mr. Oluwatobi Oso a Research Scientist who resides in South West Nigeria with his family.
Q.1: When did you become a father and for how long?
I became a father on May 28th, 2020, and have been a father for one year.
Q.2: How many kids do you have, what are their ages and gender?
I have only one child, a sweet girl of one year old
Q.3: How did you feel the first time your child was handed over to you?
I wasn’t around when she was born, so the first time I saw her was in a picture and I was just excited about adding the role of father to husband. But I held her for the first time, six months after she was born, and beyond all the video calls and other forms of responsibilities I took on in her first six months, the day I held her was the day I felt like an actual “daddy”. I felt an instant connection, and well, she didn’t cry like she would if a stranger tried to carry her.
Q.4: In a few sentences, describe what the experience has been like.
I haven’t been sleepless for her sake as my wife has been, and I've probably not put as much effort as my wife in making her achieve her milestones early, but it’s been great having to love and care for my baby, and having to be involved in every aspect of her life. Well, yes, I have lots of emotions and thoughts running inside of me at different times regarding her, but I’m grateful to God that it’s never been for anything beyond what we can handle.
Q.5: What do you wish you knew before you became a father?
Nursery rhymes and the prices of baby things in the market!!! Okay, okay, maybe I wish I knew that becoming a father comes with having to sacrifice lots of work hours and routines for baby time, maybe I'd have been more mentally ready. But I’ve come to realize that there isn’t anyone who is ever perfectly ready to become a parent. So, I’m enjoying the experience, plus I have a fantastic wife who makes it wholesome.
Q.6: Has fatherhood changed you in any way? If yes, tell us how.
Yes. I would normally not be very conscious of how people who have lived with me over time fared, but with Amiife, I’m conscious about every tiny bit of information. If she isn’t smiling (not into the camera though), if she’s turning seemingly uncomfortable in her sleep, if she’s too quiet (for someone who is very playful), if she’s not responsive to a certain call, if there’s a rash on her body, if she wakes up and stays on the bed (for someone who is instantly alert every time she wakes), and so on. I guess I’ve become too instinctive.
Q.7: Narrate your most memorable moment as a dad.
No week goes by without a memorable moment, and none sticks out as they are all mostly interesting, from cruising, to crawling, eating actual foods, walking, singing and reading along, etc. I think it’s just beautiful to watch her grow. For example, I bathe her 98% of the time, and it’s been a joy bathing her sitting in the baby bath, to standing in the baby bath, to standing on the floor easily controlled, and now standing to bathe with me struggling to keep her in one position. So, I guess the whole package of watching her grow and achieving multiple milestones at different times has just been memorable.
Q.8: Tell us what your most embarrassing moment was as a dad.
Kai, I’m not sure which. It’s either the first time bathing her and I used a 20 litre-bucket of water and my wife kept wondering how that’s possible (now I use about 5 litres or less). Or the first time I tried cleaning her poo, and my wife wasn’t home. I used a few baby wipes, but ended up running her under the tap to clean her up cos she wasn’t clean enough or so I think (I haven’t cleaned her since then, and my wife would probably learn about this for the first time when she reads this😂).
Q.9: Which of your kids do you bond most with and which one gives you a run for your money?
I have only one, and good for me, she’s been a good baby.
Q.10: What good habit or character do you wish your kid(s) would take after you?
Creativity …but then, I wouldn’t know if she got that from me or my wife, cos I would like to think we’re both creative.
Q.11: Which of your habits do you wish none of your kid(s) will inherit from you?
I hope that, in some situations, she won’t wait for conditions to be perfect before taking a step. I’ve been learning to do that myself, and saying that feels like I’m still in front of a mirror.
Q.12: Which of your kid(s) take after you and in what aspect, please give us practical examples or narrate a scenario.
Many things she’s doing, my mum claims I did them as a baby, but I’m sure being clingy isn’t one of the things she took after me (My wife, I’m not shading you oh!)
Q.13: What are your expectations for your kid(s)?
Project-Mbappe-Messi and Project-Naomi-Serena!!! …That’s on a lighter note. I expect my baby to be a good person, be able to come to me for/with anything and everything, and to stay true to herself and God. I’ll expect the same from all my kids (not yet sure of how many more we’ll have).
So here you have it, the first Father who shares his parenting experience, interesting right? But that's not all, we have other Fathers who will do the same all through the month, after all, it's the month of June when we celebrate the special men in our lives.
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© Onyinye Udeh