RELATIONSHIPS: Love is a 2 Way Street!

Hey People!

I hope this post meets you well. Something happened recently that has prompted me to have this particular conversation with y'all.

What do you think about love and relationship? Now, I am not talking about romantic relationships per se, far from it. I am talking about relationships generally, friendships, acquaintanceships, family relationships, and romantic relationships. I believe we all have various people in these categories, after all, no man is an island, right?

When I was growing up one of my aunties used to say that there is a reason why love is a 4 letter word. I asked her why and she said so that the letters could be shared equally, in a relationship each person was to hold on to 2 letters. According to her, if one person holds 3 letters while the other holds one, there will always be a struggle to find balance in that relationship. She said the worst case was when one person was holding all 4 letters and the other person was holding none; it won't be long and the person holding all the letters would be overwhelmed and either be brutally hurt or release the letters and become hardened to the point of hating the other person. A practical example is when people say someone is dating themself in a relationship.

Interesting analogy indeed.

I didn't really understand her point at that time but now that I am doing life with a whole lot of people, family, friends, acquaintances, and lovers, I have a better understanding of her analogy. Let me explain in simple terms.

There is this female acquaintance I met through a friend and over time, I assumed we had started a relationship and that I could count her as a friend. For those who know me very well, I am a people-person. I love people and because of the kind of positive energy I exude it is difficult to not be my friend after a long while. I just love to ensure people around me are fine so once I get the chance, I reach out. Maybe this is my ministry but it is something I do with joy, especially because I always feel elated when I am able to put a smile on someone's face.

Well, long story short, I noticed this particular person was fond of only reaching out to me when she was in need, hmm, red flag! Since I enjoy helping people, I did when I could. I was always the one who reached out or checked up on her just to be sure she was fine.

One day, I decided to take a break and then I received her call not too long ago and the first thing she said was 'You have forgotten me abi?' To say I was mad would be an understatement.


This is someone who has never been of help to me in any way and just because I have not reached out for some time you want to guilt-trip me? No way!

Now, this brings me to the purpose of this post. For every relationship to thrive and flourish, the parties involved must give as well as take!

Should I increase the volume? Is like those at the back didn't hear me.


This simply implies that for a relationship to be enjoyable for both parties, it must be mutually beneficial and mutually sacrificial. It is wrong for one person to expect that he/she should always be at the receiving end while the other person should be giving.

If you really care about the other person and value that relationship, then you must be willing to give something to make the other person happy and vice versa. The analogy mentioned above is of utmost importance here! You must both hold 2 letters each to form a firm foundation for that relationship.

If you analyze relationships where there are problems, you would discover that one of the major challenges is because one person is giving more while the other is just at the receiving end. That is absolutely wrong. Such a relationship is heading for disaster!

I need you to understand that this does not only apply to romantic relationships or marriages, it applies to every relationship. So whatever you can do, however you can help, whatever token you can give, whatever support your friend requires that is within your power, please don't hesitate to give it up for that relationship. Whenever you can call, chat with them, visit them, send words of encouragement, pray with them and for them. These are the little things that strengthen and build good relationships. And that is how you impact positively in people's life.

The truth is, if we all imbibe these features, it will make this world a better place in the long run.

Okay, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I love you and I am rooting for you.

Don't forget to drop a comment and let me know if you agree with me or not.





© Onyinye Udeh


  1. It takes two to make love work.

    This post is very timely.

    Thank you, Tory Teller

  2. I know nothing about love so I will do a waka pass.

    Beautiful writeup, and I love the flowers 🌹

  3. It takes two to tango.
    Timely word. I love you ~ Tikia

  4. Nice pep talk.
    Love, definitely shouldn't be one sided. But these days, some people take advantage of the love and care shown to them. They make it seem like it's their right; and that's why they don't see any need to reciprocate.

    1. That's absolutely wrong and such people are toxic!
      Avoid them!
      Thanks for stopping by dear Happiness.


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