RELATIONSHIPS: What causes siblings rivalry?

 Happy Weekend People!

I know it's been a while on this space and I’m hoping that September has been gracious to us all.

Recently, we have been talking about relationships and I doubt if there is any one of us who doesn’t have one. Like I stated in my post; Love is a 2-way street, I hope that it has helped us to be better friends and acquaintances.

Today’s focus is on family and more importantly sibling relationships. Okay, let me give a shout out to those who are only children, I see you! I want to believe that by now you have bonded very well with a good friend after all no one is an Island and we all need each other right?

The first question I would like to ask is, What kind of relationship do you have with your siblings and why? Sincerely, I would love to read your honest response in the comment section.

When I gained admission to the University, the same school where my elder sister was doing her diploma that year, and my sister hosted me in her hostel on the day of my matriculation. I can bet my 10 fingers and toes that everyone in her hostel who knew her was aware that her younger sister was matriculating on that day, as a matter of fact, I made a lot of senior friends, who I am still in touch with to date, through my sister.

My sisters and I
It was during a discussion with one of her roommates that she discovered that this roommate of hers had a sister in the same school for over 2 years and none of them in the room knew about it even after being in the same hostel and room for more than a year.

My sister was surprised at the discovery and asked her why she had never mentioned it or why her sister had never visited her, and she explained that ‘we are not really that close.’


For me, it was a shocker especially coming from a family where it seems like my siblings hold my oxygen and vice versa so we can’t live without each other. Well, I think my mum is to blame for that. I have heard a million and one stories about sibling rivalry and I can only declare that it didn’t spring up in a heartbeat, not at all, the parents are responsible for the seed that was sown for such. 

You hear stories of how brothers fight for their father's properties, and sometimes it is so bad to the point of committing murder. There are even cases of sisters killing themselves over a man. These tales are unfortunately a reality. Some siblings don't see eye to eye or communicate with each other. Hearing such terrible stories only leave you wondering how they were raised. It could only have started from the foundation where a parent must have been unfair or unjust to one of them.

You know who is Tory Teller right?

While growing up my mum always made us accountable for each other’s actions. How? You may be wondering. Hear this.

I have 6 siblings, if you are an ardent follower of Tory Teller’s blog you should know this by now. Whenever any of us did something wrong, the rest of us were punished together with the culprit. You break a plate and mum would hold everyone, who was present when the incident occurred, responsible for the mishap. We would all collect the flogging that was allocated for every mischief or wrong occurrence.

Now, this does not mean that we were flogged for every mistake, no, far from it. We were only trashed for wrongful acts that were not reported. So if you make a mistake or cause damage, the best way out was to call the rest of your siblings and report yourself, then we would collectively go to my Mum report the incident as well as apologize. That was the only way to avoid the cane. But the moment you try to play smart or cover up your error, once it is discovered we would do the reporting in order to avoid getting some whooping with you.

Some of my siblings at big sis's 40th
I’m sure this sounds funny or ridiculous to you but this was our reality. Like I have stated before, we were raised by my mum since my dad was away on transfer serving the country.

In summary, this was how my mum trained us and I dare to say that to date the bond I share with my siblings is unbreakable. I believe this was the same training she received from her mum too because the love between my mum and her siblings is enviable in all sincerity.

I must confess that when my mum was flogging me for either my sister or brother’s crime in those days, it was not funny. As a matter of fact, I used to think she was being mean but now I have come to appreciate the foundation she laid for us.

Another thing I remember is that my parents never for once called any of us their favourite and they never gave anyone preferential treatment, not for a second. They loved us equally and didn’t hesitate to discipline anyone who erred. I also believe that favouritism by parents is one of the root causes of sibling rivalry.

Sibling rivalry can be so terrible that it can ruin a family, their reputation and even lead to loss of life. Parents should consciously take measures to ensure it doesn't in their homes!

Me Famille
I am hoping that we can learn a lesson or 2 from this because we all will have children to raise and the upcoming generation is counting on us to raise our children well. Let love always lead us and guide our actions.

Please feel free to share your thoughts about this in the comment section, do you agree that parents are the main cause of sibling rivalry? What else do you think could be the cause? You know how much I love to read from you, do well to drop a comment after reading the post.

Don’t forget Tory Teller loves you and is always rooting for you.






© Onyinye Udeh


  1. Very lovely family *side eye at the author of this post *
    May God continue to keep you all together.

  2. Lovely story and a lot of lessons to learn. Truly, the role a mother play in the lives of our children is really the foundation of every home especially if it's a good mother. I just love the bond in your family πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ’•.
    Family is everything and the Best gift anyone can haveπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ₯°

  3. Well, your family is indeed enviable
    My family is not too far from this ,we have really horrible fights,that's all
    God help us to be better too😁😁

  4. I love this. What can I say? There are different ways parents brings up their children to be united, especially a wise mother . I have 7 siblings, 5 boys and 3 girls but the bond we have no get part 2 even though I am the last, but we can't do without each other. Thank you my dear for sharing, this is an eye opener for we parents that are trying to lobl some of our children and hate the other. I love you Tory Teller.

    1. Awww.
      I love you too.
      Your family reminds me of mine!
      Thanks for stopping by!


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