A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER AS SHE BECOMES A WOMAN
Happy New Month!
Happy International Women's Day to every female reading this!
So I wrote this last year around the time Women's Day was celebrated but didn't get to post it and I can't remember why.
Well, I'm finally posting it today even though the theme this year is #Embrace Equity because it's still in line with the theme.
I was born female, in a time when nobody told us anything.
As we got older, nobody told us about the changes that happened to our bodies.
We were expected to understand it and align instantly.
When we became of interest to the opposite sex, nobody told us that it would come, we were expected to just know what to do about it.
When some of us were touched inappropriately and called what we weren't, nobody told us that it was wrong and unacceptable, they expected us to just be alright.
When the pressure became unbearable and some of us gave in, nobody told us that it wasn't our fault. They only said we had failed and brought shame and disgrace to our families and the community. They even blamed our mothers too.
Nobody told the guilty that they had done wrong to us, we bore the blame alone, we were the cause.
They said, we shouldn't have dressed the way we did, we shouldn't have made ourselves available.
When it was time to get educated, nobody told us it was also our right, we were only groomed for when we would become wives.
As some of us sought for jobs, nobody told us that it was okay to go for any position not minding our gender. We just noticed we were limited to specific positions, no questions asked.
As we grew older and became women, nobody told us what to expect in marriage, we were expected to know and align.
For those who didn't get married early enough, they were told it was their fault, that they were scaring men away with their career driven goals and achievement. Nobody told us it was okay to be ambitious as a single lady.
When motherhood beckoned on some of us, nobody told us what it would come with, we were supposed to cross the bridge when we get there.
When our husbands made demands that were not convenient, nobody told us that it was okay to say no, we were expected to surrender ourselves and only speak when absolutely necessary.
When our mothers in-law tormented us for male children, nobody told us that we should tell her it was her son's fault. We bore the blame even though we were innocent.
When childbirth changed our body, nobody told us it was okay, we were blamed for not maintaining our shape for our husbands.
When family pressured some of us because we were childless and they called us barren, nobody told us that it could be their son's fault and that he needed to get tested too; some of us were sent back to our parents because of this.
|How we started|
Today, I am a mother, times have changed and I have realized that the days have gone, when we expected somebody or anybody to tell us something and nobody tells us anything.
I have told my daughter everything that nobody told me.
My daughter is a girl now, to become a woman soon but I have refused to keep quiet.
Gone are the days of silence, breaking back and breaking bone because of our gender.
Now, it is time:
To break away.
To break the norm.
To break records.
To break barriers.
To break bias.
To break free.
To be the woman we want to be not the one they want us to be!
To be limitless!
P.S Follow this link to get a special #IWD giveaway for those who want to get a copy of my book.
© Onyinye Udeh